MONDAY MORNING ACID QUEST.

WHAT i NEED ON MONDAY MORNING IS A WIG AND A PINK LAVENDER SKY.

Because we all need a little kick!

HOW EGYPTIAN.

Pete Burns was obviously decades before his tranny time. And I'm not using TRANNY in a derogatory sense...TRANNY is a word to be reckoned with. TRANNY is the new HOMOSEXUAL. And HOMOSEXUAL is on the cutting edge right now (we're taking the word back, in case you hadn't heard). TRANNY is a word to be OWNED. I mean no disrespect by it. And the funny thing is, if you're 35 years old or less, you probably have no idea who Pete Burns is, or how he's connected to the Tranny concept, which is funny, not to mention inevitable.

But I digress. This isn't about your 12 year-old ass. You're a fucking tadpole, what do you know? The video for Lover Come Back was very forward-looking and meta in that it referred to itself as an artistic expression in the video medium...there was no pretending this was real life or that it was attempting to depict a version of real life...this was a video...this was Pete Burns hamming it up and watching himself perform in his own video. We were becoming aware of ourselves as video subjects! Porn stars! Hams! It was fabulous! I wish the quality was better, but the thing is 25 years old and not exactly mainstream. DEAL! (AND ENJOY) :)!

ACCORDING TO ETHEL.

There is a famous story, possibly apocryphal, about [Ethel Merman's] first trip to Hollywood, and a vist to the set of a movie starring Loretta Young, a world-class Catholic who kept a "swear box" on the set into which everyone had to make a deposit for their naughty words. Merman saw it, turned to Loretta and said, "What the hell is this?"

Loretta smiled sweetly and said, "Oh, Ethel, I'm afraid now you have to put twenty-five cents into the swear box."

Ethel gave her a look and grinned as she said, "How much will it cost me to tell you to go fuck yourself?"

From Include Me Out by Farley Granger w/Robert Calhoun